So many things are on my mind right now. I dont exactly know what I feel but there's this emptiness that i'm starting to feel again.It's funny yet annoying that despite my busy schedule, my emotions and thoughts still haunt me from within...most especially when I am alone.
If only my pillows could talk....it would have said a lot of stories that no one knows except me and God.
There are questions that I continuously seek for answers. My faith in God is what's giving me hope. Keeping me from not giving up nor letting go. I have my faith, that's what's getting me goin'....I know my worth yet I still get involved with people who doesn't seem to appreciate me.
I have been taken for granted a lot of times by people I least expected. I'm suppose to be angry but why is there no hatred nor anger found within my soul?! I can't help but question myself why despite the way I am treated, i still am the nice little girl that everyone sees smiling and laughing around with her friends....am i making sense now?! i just going with the flow of thoughts in my mind....
hmmmm...
I know God loves me and will give me what i asked for. He will answer my prayers. I just have to continuosly b be patient and always be the better person.
The tears & joys of life is what thrills me. I honestly don't mind the pain. I know that in the end, whatever pain i may have gotten myself into, i know it'll be worth it.
God is right beside me, he's teaching me lessons and with these lessons, i know that I will benefit from it in the end. He will answer my prayers. He loves me, I know it!...
Right now, i yearn for the love of my family... My parents most especially. It's been 2 years since they last visited. I miss my dad's hugs, him bullying me and making me feel pretty.
I miss my mom's voice...I miss waking up because of my mom's voice that echoes all over the house.
I miss fighting and bullying with my little sisters dixie & kasey...(okay, why am i tearing now as i write these)...BREATHE MONS! BREATHE! it's different when they're right beside you. most especially when you feel like your world isn't going your way...
When people hurt you...it's your family that you turn to no matter what, they're the only sure thing you've got and you know that no matter what, won't leave you. haayayay! hahaha..im being an emo...well, we all have our days...
maybe kathy's right, I am a jewel that's waiting to be discovered. A gift waiting to be unwrapped. That i long to be hugged and appreciated. Im tired of being taken for granted. That deep inside my eyes, the smiles and hugs i give to everyone around me, is yet a little girl's heart wanting to be healed and be given importance. My eyes speak. If you look through it with sincerity, it tells a lot. Within it, you'll see that there's more than just a gypsy girl wandering around, seeking the thrills of life...
i'll get through this,
i know i will...
just wait and see...